I'm getting desperate. I have a problem, but I'm too tired to think of a solution. Now this is a problem in itself because the problem is what is making me tired. So I'm just bound to wither in fatigue before I can ever have enough sleep to save myself. Ok, ok so I'm being dramatic... but that's more fun isn't it?
The problem is 2-fold:
A. I have a 3 year old who suffers from nightmares and what I am convinced is a touch of lunar psychosis (I just made that up). Basically, he wakes up scared (or just needy) and can not be calmed outside of Mom and Dad's bed or at least not alone in his bed most nights. Ok, or at least he tries to come in bed and then argues and throws tantrums when we try to get him back to his bed. It's something every night though.
B. I have a 2 year old who has been a great sleeper and can only sleep in his own bed, but has recently started stomping into Mom and Dad's room 3 to 4 times a night, just so Mom can Tuck him back in (did you catch the pun? my Dad would be proud).
A+B=sharing one room.
So, one half of my brain says, just leave the door locked all night because Tucker would eventually learn to just stay in bed. But then the other half says, "Wait!" Russel would probably die because he would explode if he found he was locked in his room in the middle of a nightmare.
So Ben and I are just tired and sore from sleeping in weird places and don't get me wrong we're fine, but just not the highest functioners type people in the earth. What?
Somebody tell me what to do!!!!
Yikes, bet you weren't expecting that as your Happy Valentine's!
Posts
5 comments:
I had some friends who put the kids mattresses at the foot of their bed and would let them into Mommy and Daddy's room, but only on the floor.....
I really have nothing other than that for you though b/c Ava still ends up in bed with us everynight (altho she starts in the crib) and when Theo wakes up either Josh goes in to him, or if Josh is already at work I have him come into bed with Ava and I. Its amazing how just being in Mommy and Daddy's bed can calm them down though huh?
ps Happy Valentines Day!
I have no good ideas, only sympathy. We're having sleeping struggles at our house too. I've been feeling a little mean making Amy have "quiet time" every day while I nap even though she doesn't, but at the same time, I wouldn't be so tired if she didn't wake me up multiple times most nights. So, I hear you. And I'm sorry. It's rough.
Kate used to come in every night when she was 3. I finally told her she could come in but she had to sleep on the floor. So she would drag her blankie and pillow into our room every night. Eventually she stopped waking us up and I would just wake up to her on the floor in the morning. And eventually after that she just stayed in bed.
I think she just wanted to be near us, and I have horrible memories of my parents locking us out of their room eventually and I would just fall asleep outside their door. Sad. So I couldn't do that either.
Tucker is a little harder because he's littler. I would continue to take him back in his room, but don't say a word to him. Just pick him up and put him back in his bed. IT's a super nanny trick. He's getting his physical need met (being put back in bed) but he's not getting any attention for getting out of bed. So even if he does it 4 times a night, don't let him see you frustrated, just calmly take him back.
Sorry for writing a book. We've had so many varieties of sleep issues with our kids that I've learned a few tricks over the years. Good luck!
Megan, that really stinks. Isn't it hard to mother boys when you are exhausted? I sure think so! I hope you can get it sorted out quickly so that you can start getting some decent sleep.
I think I would tackle Tuck's problem first, since it sounds more like a matter of habit than anything else. I would shut the door and put a baby lock on the inside like you said, until the habit is broken (when we did this same thing with Ian last month, we gave him a night-light and shut the door. He loved the light, and didn't mind having the door shut without the light. In two nights he went from coming in 4 times, to not at all!) You could also start with the door open, but mark with tape on the carpet increments that you'll close the door each time he gets out of bed, until it is eventually closed (like 2 or 3). Ferbers' sleep books recommend removing siblings from the room while correcting bad habits, so that they don't have to suffer the other child's consequences. (hopefully setting up a temporary bed in your room for Russell won't cause more problems!) Ferber said that Russell being able to return to the bedroom is usually enough motivation for kids like Tucker to correct their behavior quickly. (although I don't think he actually used those names... :)
I hear nightmares are common for 3 year olds, and that they outgrow them eventually, especially if you can get them a little more sleep. (probably no chance you need blackout curtains in there this time of year, huh?!)
You have great little boys! I wish we could hang out with our crazies! I have a feeling our two and three year olds would have a ball together!
Good luck!
We're currently trying out the bed-on-the-floor method. Last night was the first night it worked and that was only because I basically sobbed to Rachel that she's a terrible person to sleep with (like, seriously, she ends up all upside down in the bed and then kicks her legs, which means we're kicked in the face instead of the shins...) and that she HAD to not sleep in Mommy's bed if she wanted a not-grumpy Mommy.
So she slept on the floor...and is unfortunately a little excited to sleep on the floor again tonight. Yippee! (kidding)
She's currently in her bedroom, where both girls are screaming. I HATE listening to my kids scream in their room, but seriously! They've both been sick for days and have been up all day (okay, so Meme took a long nap but still...she's been sick for days).
And, they just stopped...and it only took 5 minutes.
Oh. And me going in there and telling them both that I AM SO DONE FOR THE DAY AND THEY MUST GO TO SLEEP OR MOMMY IS GOING TO PULL HER HAIR OUT!
I think I need a good night's rest, too!
Good luck!
Post a Comment