When Motherhood is Mortifying

I was inspired to share this story after reading this story about a little guy named Charlie.

Warning: long story and for some reason, the font gets big later on

So, it begins with excitement as I load my two youngin's into the car and head to the library for Russel's first story-time (and his first social experience in the community).

I was so excited for him to meet other children and as mothers often do, I had ulterior motives and was excited to meet other mothers in the community and perhaps eventually glean information about other fun things to do with the kids from said mothers.

Slowly my excitement began deflating as I noticed how obvious it was that Russel did not yet understand how to relate socially in a structured program.

He was shy
He was objective
He was non-participatory
He was stubborn

But still that was all ok.

If you know Russel, you know it takes time for him to warm up to anything or anyone.

Still I couldn't help but feel that our lack of experience with other children stuck out like a sore thumb (though I'm sure many other mothers there felt the same way).

After story time, I thought he could use more time around the kids, so we went to play in the children's book section.

There, my hope was restored.

He had no problem sharing
He played quietly
He even kindly and innocently rolled a toy tractor back and forth with another child.

I picked out some books and got ready to leave thinking I had a really great kid which translates to:

I am doing alright as a mom!

Then we make our way out the doors and the piled up snow kept Russel on the sidewalk while I sloppily wrangled Tucker in his car-seat (probably about 40 lbs), a diaper bag for two, the craft Russel made, and some library books.

Then the time came to leave the sidewalk and go to the car.... oh no

"Come here Russel, Mommy will help you climb over the snow"

Answered with a sly look and slow steps away from me.

"No, no no, you come here, we have to go to the car over there"

Faster steps away.

"No! Russel you need to come this way"

Running down the sidewalk... then he finds the ramp out to the parking lot.

Running through the parking lot

"NO!" In the kind-of tone you're uncomfortable hearing from other parents in public.

"NO NO NO. Russel, you come here NOW"

I'm disgusted and mortified as I hear myself and watch my child running wild, but at the same time I don't care because my child is running free in a parking lot, when people are trying to leave.

Finally, I realize the barbaric yelling is just making him run further and further away. Anyone watching would think I was crazy, but I gave up, put Tucker in the car while keeping an eye on him when I could and then ran to save his life.

He survived. I did what I could and we'll just say the next week we had a harness complete with leash

"What did I do?"

Good thing he's so stinkin' cute!